Tuesday, 22 September 2009

Disorientation week

The purpose of this negative brainstorming session is to come up with suggestions of really bad policies and practices that we should definitely not do as a way to stimulate out-of-the-box thinking about new initiatives.
Our first topic is on ideas for helping our Freshers settle in during induction week. So any suggestions? Don't hold back! The wackier the better. Shout them out and I'll write them up on the interactive white board.
"Disorientation week". Like it could you elaborate...how would you disorient them. "Campus maps with buildings missing" excellent! "Long pointless queues for registration that could be done on line" good one. "Completely ineffective and annoying student management software" yes very nice - I'll write that next to the queues. "Wheel clamping parents cars when they are dropping stuff off" yes that will give them an excellent start. "Giving out information about induction events only after they have missed them" yes very good. "Getting the local police to give a briefing about avoiding violent crime and robbery that scares them so much they think they have moved to a war zone" yes very graphic. "Get some student guides, but choose the most introverted, disillusioned and ill informed ones to show new students around" Like it!
Any more? Professor Tikemov you are looking very worried..
Yes. I was just thinking that this is meant to be a brain storming session to come up with bad ideas. But we already do all of these things!

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Adam Upwrite is Professor of Creative Accounting at the University of Middle England. His Registrar's Diary is about a fictional registrar and an equally fictional English university.